Morbid Enough?

Morbid Enough?.

The moral lines we draw between us and our adversaries are fictional. The uplifting narratives used to justify the war in Afghanistan are pathetic attempts to redeem acts of senseless brutality. War cannot be waged to instil any virtue, including democracy or the liberation of women. War always empowers those who have a penchant for violence and access to weapons. War turns the moral order upside down and abolishes all discussions of human rights. War banishes the just and the decent to the margins of society. And the weapons of war do not separate the innocent and the damned. An Aerial Drone is our version of an Improvised Explosive Device. An iron fragmentation bomb is our answer to a suicide bomb. A burst from a belt-fed machine gun causes the same terror and bloodshed among civilians no matter who pulls the trigger 

Gay on Trial | The American Prospect

Gay on Trial | The American Prospect.

Perry v. Schwarzenegger indeed asks the “ultimate question” of whether gays have a federal right to marry, but because the case is alleging that Prop. 8 violated the equal-protection clause of the U.S. Constitution, the federal court decision will have implications for gay Americans in nearly every arena of public life, from housing to parenting to military service. The court is set to consider questions as wide-ranging as what it means to be gay and whether it affects one’s contribution to society. It’s not just marriage rights on trial; it’s homosexuality itself.

tumblr!

Follow me on tumblr as well! I’m hoping to get both of these updated more often: weekly here (perhaps a sunday post of some sort).

http://campczigany.tumbler.com

College, or Becoming an Adult, or That Place where Beauty Perpetually Resides, or a Test of One’s Morals, Faith, and Sanity

So, it has begun. I hate to use the expression, but what the hell, why not? I am starting a new chapter in my life, I am the co-author. Sometimes, I think that I’ve been put into a situation that I have no control over, 2100 miles away from friends and family, and in an environment far different from any I’ve experienced. In spite of this, I have little fear of what may come. I suppose I do fret over what I may lose, having left so many whom I love. There are times that I doubt that I’ve made the right decision attending this glorious institution, but those doubts are crushed as soon as I talk to those around me, the moment I walk around the paradisal campus, the lectures, and all else that makes up the college experience here at Kenyon.

I suppose what I’m getting at is, I feel blessed. Blessings are funny things, because there’s something complicated about them. Sometimes they are so complex that you don’t always recognize the blessedness of them. Or perhaps, it’s not that you don’t recognize it, but that you wonder whether there might just be something more to be had. I say this because I’m in such a different school environment, yet at the core there is the selfsame commitment to true education in both schools.

What’s most difficult is starting over. The past 4 years defined me, through my interactions with my classmates, my teachers, and all those around me. I matured, developed habits, formed opinions, but all that is over, at least in that way. This is not to say that I will cease doing those things. Quite the contrary! I shall do those things just as much, if not even more. But it will not be the same, for it will be in a different environment. So far, it has been wonderful. I’ve realized, however, the extent to which I relied on my close, dare I say intimate, comrades and companions. “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers [and sisters]” echoes in my head. I long not to go back, but to bring those I’ve been with. I know I must move on, but it is hard, even now. I love, nay I adore, my new companions. I have absolutely no doubt that I will develop lasting friendships, but I want these new friendships to be added to those I already had, not replace them.

Oh, I dunno what I’m really getting at. I think I’ve expressed it somewhat oddly. It may seem that the euphoric attitude has been crushed, but that is far from true. It is being accompanied by a somewhat sobering attitude. That expresses it better. Euphoria and Sobriety. Whatever that really means.

Meditations on Geese

Stillness fills the emptiness of this cold, wintry day. The silence is broken by the sounds of bickering geese. I taste a piece of bliss as I sit. The birds are as varied in their personalities as are we, the men and women who claim superiority. Some seek to be territorial, chasing down those not of the tribe, but others, unperturbed by the presence of these newcomers, remain at peace. As I reflect upon these blessed creatures, how can I, with an air of arrogance, claim greatness? Or, perhaps in asking such a question I prove the separation and primacy of humanity. I cannot help but hear the words of Father Zossima that it was man who fell, not the creatures. My thoughts are broken by the isolated goose, soaring to some yonder place, I know not where. The stillness returns as each tribe settles in; the sounds of civilization beckon me, reminding me of the cruelty that we so often inflict. The wind moves the dried reeds beside me; the music of nature soothes my soul, even as the wind bites at my neck and hands.  I feel refreshed as I depart from this natural sanctuary, I have found solace in Creation, the arms of my Creator. Namaste.

A Short Story

This is an attempt at a short story, tell me what you think.

A year ago today I had a chance encounter with Life. The world had seemed so chaotic and incomprehensible. Each member of my family was suffering from some illness: be it mental or physical. I was the chief, though, enduring the pains of rejection and isolation. All whom I held dear had refused to acknowledge me, not because of anything I had done, but simply because of who I was.

It had been a year since I crawled into that pew, thinking myself the most forlorn object. I laughed at myself for thinking that I could find any solace in a place that represented so much that I felt was wrong with the world. But I sat. I knelt. Soon, I became enraptured, as feelings arose within me unexpectedly. My soul, denied only moments ago, began to feel liberated, as waves of acceptance moved over me. This building, which had been a temple of darkness in my mind, became a sanctuary.

I reminisce on this “chance” experience, wondering how random it was. What had drawn me in on that harsh February morning? I was captivated by curiosity; the mystery of life and meaning pushed me through those doors. I had never experienced such love before. Even my closest friends had constructed barriers that prevented any meaningful relationships. But now, now I felt free. And I was.

Benediction in this Age of Matter

As I was preparing for my epiphany meditations tomorrow, looking for some prayers, I came across this:

Leader: Peace be to this house.

All: And to all who live here.

Leader: Bless, O Lord,
this household and family,
and allow all of us who live in this home
to find in it a shelter of peace and health.
Inspire each of us to develop
our individual talents
and to contribute wisdom and good works
for the benefit of the whole family.
Make our house a haven for us all,
and a place of warmth and caring
for all our friends who come to visit us.
Enlighten us with the brilliance
of your Epiphany star,
so that, as we go into the world,
we might clearly see our way to You
and discover You in our work and play.
This we ask to your glory
and in the power of your kingship.

All: For yours is the kingdom and the power
and the glory now and forever, Amen.

Then, bless the house with the sign of the cross.

I understand that we are not as, err, religious as we used to be, at least not traditionally. However, this blessing of the home just brought to light an interesting issue. In an age where there are high divorce rates, debt, bankruptcy, suicide, consumerism, and hedonism, I think we’ve lost touch with ourselves. I think part of the problem lies in our homes. We don’t have any sense of sacred space, of sacred time, or perhaps of sacred anything! Now, I don’t want to return to any sort of legalism, but I think it is so important for us to have sacred things. They nourish our souls, enrich our lives, and make the world a better place if taken seriously. I think our ancestors understood the need for sacred objects in the human experience, not because some deity mandates it, but because it’s the way humans are formed.

I don’t think blessings of anything will be the cure-all that we all need. I think that was found in a baby in a manger, a man on a cross, a resurrected Lord. But I think that benedictions, when properly understood and taken seriously, can be very powerful. As we come upon the Epiphany of Our Lord, let us remember that God calls even the smallest and least of these, good.

O God, who on this day did reveal God-self to All men, in the form of a vulnerable child, be known to us today as we await your coming in Glory. 

We remember your Birth, as you became flesh and dwelt among us, reminding us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first in your Kingdom.

We remember your Baptism, as your mission to all humanity was sanctified by the Father, that Sacrament by which all are brought into your Body.

We remember the Wedding-Feast at Cana, where you showed us the joy of human community and celebration, reminding us that life is beautiful.

We praise you, O Cosmic King, adored by the Magi, as your mission was presented in the three gifts: Gold for your Royalty, Frankincense for your Priesthood, and Myrrh for your Sacrifice.

We thank you, we praise you, we adore you, Jesus our Lord.

Be known to us, keep us, and move us to do your will in the world, in the words of Micah, your prophet, “to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with the Lord.”

Thanks be to God!

-Prayer by me

 

“I Resolve…”

So, generally, I am not much of a new year’s resolution person. I tend to just sort of fix my act throughout the year. However, this year, I’ve decided to change that; I hereby resolve to do a variety of things and here they are:

1. Be more open about who I am: Honesty and Integrity are two virtues I am good at save for a few issues. I will begin being more open about all aspects of myself to more people.
2. I will no longer simply fill my head with information, but will learn how to better express it: musically, poetically, dramatically, or perhaps simply in prose. I need to broaden my skills and not just focus on my knowledge.
3. Increase my music understanding.
4. Be more diligent.
5. Spend less time online.
6. Share my faith more.
7. Define my aforementioned faith better.
8. Watch more movies.
9. Be myself!

A Quote

” If we don’t have good will toward men in this world, we will destroy ourselves by the misuse of our own instruments and our own power. . . .”-Martin Luther King Jr.

Christmas Eve

Today, we await the coming of Our Lord in the final hours of Advent. Tomorrow, we will awake celebrating the Birth of Our Saviour. As the world around us is chaotically clinging to all that passes, let us embrace the eternal. As financial institutions, political organizations, and all other struggling things fall and whither, let us remember that God is eternal, unchanging in His love, devotion, justice, and mercy. Let us never forget that God is the sustainer of all, and does not desire the death of even the wicked. Let us hear the cries of the prophet Micah, as he calls us to “do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the LORD.” (6:8)

Julian of Norwich said, “All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” God is good indeed. As nations rise and fall, the Lord of the Universe stands firm forever. She is the Mother of all, He is the Father of All, Christ the Lord, coming as a babe in a manger. This is indeed a surprise, something that we can only look at in  awe.

Alleluia! Christ will come! Alleluia!